I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
