just come out here and I will go home with you...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
