Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
