Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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