Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
