he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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