shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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