I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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