I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
