i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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