Im at strip club and am horny
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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