It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
