There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
