Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
