She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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