Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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