Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
