just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
