I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
