you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
