I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
