You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
