Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
