Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
