but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
