...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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