Heybabeimwearingurpanties
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
