Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
