god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
