So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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