talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
