so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
