giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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