Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
