Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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