I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
