We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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