Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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