Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
