She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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