fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
