I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
