i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize