Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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