1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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