if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My liver just broke up with me...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
