I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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