i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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