Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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