took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
