I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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