He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize