My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
