i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
