I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
