I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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