also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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