I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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