Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
last night I used snow as a chaser
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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