Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
