OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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