Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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