the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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