I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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