let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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