Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
